step one: read application

•August 6, 2007 • 1 Comment

Now that I have finished all coursework and requirements for grad school, I get to sit around and wait to find out my final grade.
I will be earning my Masters in Applied Behavioral Analysis hopefully within the next week.

The next step in my professional/educational development will be to sit for and pass the BCBA exam.

Over the next few weeks, I will start reading through the application process and see what is expected of me. I will start saving money towards the costly application fee and officially add it to my 43things list.

i think i need to revisit this one

•August 6, 2007 • Leave a Comment

So, it has been 15 MONTHS since i have purchased a pack of cigarettes, but when I see my smoking friends on the weekends, I find a way to justify it being ok that i have a smoke or two or three or four or five with them. The first 10 months I was doing fabulous, only having a handful of smokes…but life stress has gotten to me ( graduate school melt down, heart broken, work stress, etc.) and the occasional smoke has increased.

I do know I need to find a replacement behavior so I can do something else instead of smoking a cigarette when I am stressed out or mad and I am working on it. Overall, I am super proud of myself. This is one time when I don’t mind being a quitter. I can do this.

me-me-sexuality

•August 6, 2007 • Leave a Comment

…and I quote the lovely Sarah Silverman to get my point across…

i’ve failed at heterosexualityi’ve failed at homosexualityi guess i have to stop thinking that the right person is just going to come along, you knowi have to be the right personi have to come alongi’m a me-mo-sexualsarah silverman

Basically, this is where I am at. This time it is going to be about me. The time is now. I am on my way to being 32 years old and I have never put myself first. I have never done anything for myself. Now it is my turn. Completing graduate school this summer, getting my health under control, not putting up with anyone elses bullshit if they are not going to treat me with kindness. I need good things to happen in my life. I need to allow good things to happen. I need to live, not exist.

i think i might be done

•August 6, 2007 • Leave a Comment

i turned in my last bits of paperwork for my internship this weekend.
i have finished all my courses.
i passed my comprehensive exams.
now, all i have to do is wait to find out my grades.
i would hope it is safe to assume i passed.
i did it! i really did it!

. p h o t o g r a p h s .

•October 13, 2006 • Leave a Comment

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Do you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background?

It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you.

How many moments of other peoples lives have you been in?

Were we a part of someone’s life when their dream came true

or were we there when their dreams died?

Did we keep trying to get in?

As if we were somehow destined to be there

or did the shot take us by surprise?

Just think…

You could be a big part of someone elses life and not even know it.

. i n c o n v e n i e n t . l o v e .

•October 10, 2006 • Leave a Comment

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This is not directed at anyone specifically.

I have no one in mind while I am writing this.

I was simply thinking about my past.
I was simply thinking about my present.
I was simply thinking about my future.

To me, it is plain and simple.
If you like me, don’t just sit there and do nothing about it.

I want to be adored, is that so wrong?
I want you to want to make me smile.
I want you to want me ( don’t start singing).
I want you to know me.
I want you to want me to know you.
…all of it … the good, the bad, the ugly.

I am tired of people saying they want to spend time with me and then don’t do shit about it.
I am tired of people telling me they want to know me and when I say something that shocks or surprises them, they wish they never knew ( and believe me, nothing I could say is that shocking).

Hence, the goal.

I want to fall in real love:

ridiculous,

inconvenient,

consuming,

can’t live without each other

love.

.99 . Luft . balloons.

•October 6, 2006 • Leave a Comment

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perhaps i will just send one balloon, not 99

one is a good start.

i will do this before the weekend is over.